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When sons grow from child to man, many parents don’t recognize them. The feeling of never-ending confrontation, or the suddenly very shy and introverted way, cause parents a lot of concern: What is going on with our son? And how do parents deal with puberty in boys properly?
What Are The Changes in Puberty?
Puberty usually appears first on a physical level. With the onset of pre-puberty between the ages of 10 and 13, the production of the sex hormone testosterone in the body skyrockets. This is the starting signal for the physical change:
1. Voice Changes:
Between the ages of 11 and 16, the vocal cords begin to grow and the voice breaks. Now the voice sometimes breaks away, it squeaks and croaks. After half a year, the worst spook is over and your son has a deep, male voice.
2. Body Hair:
Boys’ first hair grows under the arms, on the chest, and in the genital area. Beard growth is also slowly starting.
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3. Sexual Changes:
penis and testicles start to grow, sperm are produced for the first time.
4. Body Growth:
Between the ages of 13 and 17, the body usually shoots up and becomes more muscular. By the end of puberty, muscle and bone mass will double.
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5. Skin Changes:
The testosterone excess in the body can cause blemishes and acne.
6. Brain Changes:
cells and connections change during puberty and cognitive skills continue to develop. This can sometimes lead to confusion. The control of the sleep rhythm also changes, which is why your son is often awake and fit for a long time in the evening, so he absolutely does not get out of bed in the morning. Sufficient sleep is very important during this time for the development of the brain, so long sleep on the weekend after a hard week of school must be easy.
Boys Between Independence And Security
With the many physical changes and the wild hormone roller coaster, it is only logical that your son’s inner life also goes crazy. On the outside, your son may act as a great rebel, but on the inside, it is a challenge for him to cope with all physical and mental changes. The great phase of defiance now begins with the parents, a difficult balancing act between detachment and the desire for security, between independence and the need for love and recognition. Puberty is also a constant struggle against oneself, some becoming loners, others looking for a kick in the rebellion.
So guys are experimenting with the role models. They live in extremes and look for their identity. This search works best through friction and delimitation. In order to be independent and to find themselves, many young people isolate themselves from their parents’ house, but friends and first love relationships are the most important social contacts. In puberty, young people want to show that they are individual personalities and not simply their parents’ offspring. Therefore, much of what you do is now labeled as embarrassing. Don’t panic, that will clear up at the end of puberty.
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How Parents Can Deal With Boys Puberty
Even if it’s not always easy to deal with your son: don’t give up! You won’t get very far with the attitude “The child does what it wants anyway”. Because you are signaling to him that you don’t care. Your task now is to offer your son protection and security, even if he may often show you his rejection.
1- Rules Has To Be Respected:
Children who are just growing up need a fixed orientation framework. Rules and limits offer this framework. Therefore, once rules and consequences have been established, they should not simply be thrown overboard. But make sure to substantiate these with factual arguments and remain willing to compromise. Borders must remain flexible and, if necessary, they can be renegotiated in a conversation.
2- Find a Reasonable Balance:
This phase of life is a difficult tightrope not only for your son. It is also important for you as parents to find a good balance between holding on and letting go, between control and trust. So the eternal discussions about going out are a good way to show your son’s trust. If he has proven himself in situations and has shown reason, he can come home later. With freedom, you also show your son that you don’t want to control him. Just watch what happens. You will see your son grows with his responsibilities.
3- Always Remains Constructive:
At the slightest criticism, your son blows up like a rocket. Because during puberty he sees every little criticism as a personal failure and it triggers a feeling of failure in him. Nevertheless, family life without criticism is hardly possible. Always remain constructive and avoid moralizing lectures. Use “I” messages like “I’m worried if …” and let your son have his say. But stick to criticism, even if it’s tiring. With your comments, you help him to assess himself better.
And if after an unsuccessful discussion you are once again perplexed on the couch, your nerves at the end, your head full of questions, then make yourself aware, Everything is just a phase! If your son man has become a confident man at the end of his teenage years, you will quickly forget the time (at least a large part of it).