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A very frequent situation today is that single mothers and fathers have new partners. In these cases and when these relationships become stable, it is time to introduce the new boyfriend or girlfriend to the children.
This situation is almost always complicated but when children are teenagers it is even more complicated. Parents of teenagers know that things are not usually easy with children at that age. Although puberty is a time of change for them, or perhaps that is why teenage children do not usually accept the news with much joy. And when that novelty is the new partner of your father or your mother is even worse. That is why it is important to follow a series of steps that can greatly facilitate that presentation.
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Tips For Introducing Your New Partner
Some tips that will make the relationship of your new partner with your son or teenage children go well.
1. Take Your Time and Be Careful
The most important thing is that you are sure or sure that the new person in your life is going to stay a long time. When you know that it is a stable relationship, the time has come to start thinking about talking to your child about him or her and to get to know each other. If you are not sure or certain that it is so, it is preferable to wait.
Mom’s meeting new boyfriend or dad’s new girlfriend creates stress for everyone. But it is also important to be careful with the new people you introduce into the lives of your children. If you want to change your boyfriend or girlfriend every now and then it is your business but if those people also enter your children’s lives, when they leave they will have a feeling of loss. That is why it is better to be sure that you have a stable relationship before making them known.
2. Choose The Moment Well
It is difficult with teenagers to know how their mood will be in the next five or ten minutes but you know your son or children better than anyone, so look for a time when you know that your son or daughter will be in a good mood to tell them about your new partner and to introduce it. You are interested in organizing it well to get good results.
Maybe you can plan something that your son or daughter likes to do with you: go together to a sports show, or go shopping, or go for a walk … an activity with which you both enjoy together. And take advantage of that moment when you are alone to talk to your son or daughter about your new partner.
3. Do Not Overwhelm Your Child
Try to tell your child in a simple way that you are in love with someone, give him that person’s name, maybe he has already heard you talk about him or her, or call him. Briefly describe how he is but try not to make him a hero. Tell him what he does, if he has children, where he lives… And don’t extend the moment, teenagers soon get tired of paying attention.
4. Make Them Meet
Once you’ve talked to your teenage son about your new partner, it’s time for them to meet. A good idea may be to invite your boyfriend or girlfriend to dinner at home. That way, your teenage son will feel safer because he is in his territory.
Talk to your partner about your child’s likes and hobbies before. Surely you have already done so because fathers and mothers usually talk a lot about their children with their boyfriends, but if not, make sure that your new partner has enough information about your son or daughter so that he can have an entertaining conversation with him or her and not “screw up” with statements that your son or daughter detests.
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Problems That Can Happen After Introducing The New Partner
What you can expect It is possible that everything goes well, that your new partner and your children get along wonderfully from the first moment and that everything is perfect, but this is not usual.
1. Questions About The New Partner
Your teenage son or daughter will want to know much more about that new person who has entered his life. Be honest or sincere with your children about what you feel and about your new partner. It’s very important to answer your son’s questions.
2. Rejection Of The New Partner
It is common for many teenagers to show rejection of their parents’ new partners. If it happens to you, don’t panic, you’re not the first. You’ll have to work hard to improve the relationship between them. Talk to your son or daughter and make it clear that that person is important in your life and will continue. But always make sure that your child knows that he or she will always be a fundamental part of your life, that you want them, whether you have a partner or not. You can also explain that your life is better if you have a partner, that makes you happier and that the fact that you are happier will make your life better.
Especially with children who are in the first phase of adolescence, it is common that when their father or mother have a new partner, jealousy arises. The only way to fight them is to make your child feel safe about the love you feel for him.
It is very common that when a teenage son gets along with his father’s new partner or his mother, he feels guilty about his other parent. They feel as if they are betraying the absent father or mother. To overcome that situation you will have to talk to your son or daughter and explain that it is not so, that their father or mother is still their father or mother and that your new partner will not replace them. If you have a good relationship with your ex, you can ask for help because if he or she is happy with your new relationship it will also help your children adapt better and not feel guilty.