Causes And Solutions For Children’s Aggressive Behavior

by Khadija MAWHOUB

The reasons for child aggression are varied and often difficult to understand. Beating, biting and kicking are a form of aggressive behavior that your child shows especially when the child is overwhelmed or unsure about the situation, or when he wants to draw attention to himself.

Causes Of Child’s Aggressive Behavior

There are many reasons for aggressive behavior in children. These must be examined in each individual case.

1- Social Insecurity

The classic intention of aggression is described as selfish enforcement of one’s own needs and deliberate harm and injury to others. However, aggressive behavior can also be an expression of fear and insecurity. These children feel threatened and attacked more quickly than others. They act out of their own defenses due to social insecurity. These children are increasingly aware of threats and are over-sensitive.

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2- Family Crises

Another possible trigger of aggressive behavior can be a crisis in the social environment of the child, for example, conflicts in the couple’s relationship with the parents or stress in the family. This does not mean that all partnership conflicts or stress lead to a child becoming aggressive. However, it was found that children tend to be more aggressive in family crises.

Also, a change in the family areas such as the birth of new siblings, the death of a member of family, schooling or a change of residence can increasingly promote aggressive behavior.

3- Violent Education

Of course, violence against the child itself, violence between parents or against third parties (including animals) can also be a possible cause of child aggression. Because when a child learns that problems within the family are solved with violence, on the one hand, it cannot help but resort to violence if it is faced with a problem. On the other hand, it may also be that a child feels neglected, that it is courting love and affection and therefore tries to put itself in the spotlight with all possible means, even if it is so negative.

4- Watching Frequent Violence

Children can also watch the beating and biting from television. Sometimes it is enough if the parents watch a series in which violence can be seen.

Observing a behavior makes the same neurons active as an actual behavior. It may well be that a child who beats or bites does not do so out of aggression, but to test an observed behavior. Simply because it has observed behavior elsewhere. Toddlers in particular quickly copy behavior from other contexts so that parents can think about where the aggression in their toddler can come from.

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How To React When Your Child Become Aggressive

Regardless of the cause, parents can successfully reduce their children’s negative behavior through behavioral training.

1- Talk To Your Child

So if you notice that your child starts to bite, hit or kick, it is certainly advisable if you ask yourself why this could be the case. You may even be able to ask your child in a quiet minute that you give them the opportunity to pour out their hearts. If it appears that the child is reacting in this way due to a difficult situation (separation, death, moving), it is appropriate if you show the child a lot of understanding and consideration.

2- Teach Your Child How To Deal With Conflicts

It is important that parents practice with the child how they can resolve conflicts differently. Here, consistent reaction and intervention are important. The help of alternative ways of dealing and praise for it as well as your own example are promising because the children are often not really happy with their own reaction. Asking the child what is needed and identifying underlying problems provides possible solutions. Therefore, the child must be included.

3- Set Limits With Your Child

On the other hand, it is, of course, certain that certain behavior cannot be tolerated: you must make it absolutely clear to your child that violent forms of conflict are not in order. The so-called time-out is proven in situations that should be used consistently. The arguments should be separated, even if your child protests violently. But calm and distance help the child to come to the insight. It may also help if you hold your child in your arms or distract him with a game. The child must feel that aggressive behavior does not go far. However, you should absolutely avoid becoming aggressive yourself in such situations, bringing your child to the point of view with severe punishments, that would be counterproductive!

4- Don’t Always Intervene

Children are often “only” interested in testing limits. So it is important that you give your child the freedom to playfully deal with aggression. So you can let the children fight, have their strengths measured, and sometimes play with them, provided that the rules are known and that neither side may violate them. These playful battles can help energetic children to get rid of their energy in this way.

5- Ask For Help

Often an outside person can help, a counselor or a psychologist, as well as other specialists, can perceive the vicious circle and help to behave correctly in the event of provocation. Also, talk to your child’s teacher! She sees it much of the day and can provide important information about situations in which the behavior occurs or about suspected influencing factors.

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6- Finally, Raise Your Child Peacefully

Raising a child peacefully is possible if:

  • the children feel safe and secure in their family.
  • the children receive enough love and care. Giving children time is more valuable than all material gifts!
  • the parents treat each other and their children fairly, without aggression.
  • the children are encouraged and challenged with regard to their talents and interests, through music lessons, sports, painting courses, pets.
  • arguing, brawling, wrangling and raging are not fundamentally prohibited, but the imperative is to always be fair.

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